What To Do when you Feel Offended over a Text Message

texting conflict

Have you ever been offended by a text you received?

Many times I have gotten a text, or email, and felt tension after reading it. Sometimes I wonder if the sender was trying to initiate conflict. At other times I have sent a text and I get back a response that (in my opinion) is far too short. Sometimes it takes way too long for me to get a response to a text that I sent. Sometimes a person does not respond to my text or email at all. All of these situations leave me wondering if there is tension or conflict on the other end of the text.

But that is tension is seldom actually there

It is easy to feel offended after getting a text or email. It is even easier to escalate this perceived tension by firing back a sharp text or email response. But most of the time this tension that I perceive is not real. By responding sharply, I have now created conflict that was never even there to begin with. So what should I do when I feel offended or frustrated by a text (or lack thereof)?

1. ┬áDon’t ever allow yourself to be offended by a text or email.

Getting offended at a couple sentences of text doesn’t make a lot of sense. You have no idea what was going on with that person when they wrote it. They might have been in the middle of a meeting, or sitting at a red light, or taking a nap, or in an argument with someone. They might have been in a good mood or a bad mood. They might have not responded at all because they were driving or working. Don’t assume that a person is attacking you through their text message.

Also Read: The Dangerous Power of Online Messaging


2.  Pick up the phone and actually dial a number.

If you feel any tension at all from a written message or lack of a response to your text, don’t respond with another text. Pick up the phone and have a conversation. Don’t ever escalate a conflict over an email or a text. It seldom goes well and you will likely end up regretting it.

What do you think? Comment and continue the conversation.

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Posted by Brian Howard

My focus is to help YOU move forward one step at a time. I write about church excellence, personal productivity, and family leadership. I coach leaders, start churches, and help organizations break growth barriers. My goal is to draw on this experience to help YOU move forward in life, leadership, and productivity.

  1. It seems to me the best lines I heard with dealing with situations like these are with a commitment to seeing conflict as a way to grow — don’t be offended by it instead lean into those critics even if they are being passive aggressive and live with nothing to prove. The reason you’re offended is because you feel like you had something to prove and it wasn’t received or valued or credited to the degree that you’d hoped. Put on the big boy pants and lean in to criticism. Find your security in Christ nit whether or not someone didn’t like your speech or your weight or your parenting technics. The reality is they may have some truth in there if you can be secure enough in who you are to lean in and hear them out and sort through whether they were just being hurtful or whether you needed your ego to be deflated and get an accurate picture of your abilities if they were in question. Great post though! Something I am sure we can all relate to!


  2. […] Also Read: What to do when you feel offended over a text message […]


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